When I moved to New Hampshire seven years ago I had no job, no place to live and a car full of stuff. I left behind family, friends, and security. I knew it was a risky move. But I also knew that I had to do it. I uprooted and left everything behind. It wasn't the first time I had done that in my life.
I'm older now and the footloose and fancy-free lifestyle isn't as appealing. I have a much richer community, and have settled into a life I enjoy for the most part. Nevertheless, there is this urge pushing me on. This time though, I am not so willing to leave everything behind. But is this unwillingness to leave things behind holding me back from what I am meant to do? Am I being called to move on but dragging my feet because I have "settled" in? My instinct says no. I think the total uprooting is the only way I know how to do things because in some ways it is the easiest way to satisfy the urge. But then the urge returns seven years later. I think now I must examine my life and look for the not-so-easy way of pushing myself on while remaining a part of this community. Balance a life of motivation and ambition with the more settled part of my life. I must admit that I am not a fan of the word "balance". As soon as you put it in a sentence everything becomes twice as difficult.
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Hmmmm... So you are suffering from the proverbial '7 Year Itch'?
ReplyDeleteI remember my mother would often feel just as you described. Wanting to leave it all behind and start again. Making a clean break of it. She never did, though. I wonder whay kind of a life she would have had if she did?
I think it always sounds easier to uproot and start again. But, with my personality, that seems written in!
I'm glad you're hanging in there, but would always support you if you decided to move on and try something/somewhere new.
I think it's called the seven year itch because it starts about 4 years in and you can only put it off for another 3 years until you just can't take it anymore. ;) I'm not going anywhere just yet.
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